Breathing your love
by yearofdelena
Summary: 19-year-old college freshman student who left her small town life behind, plans on living freely and recklessly, but just doesn't know how. When she meets a alluring college sophomore student; Damon Salvatore, Elena is sure she wants him. He wants her too. But there's something deeper between the two. Is it understanding? Is it similarity? Or is it love at first sight?
1. New beginnings

"_This is a start of something new,_

_Something full of adventure,_

_And lust and love. And I'm ready_

_I'm bracing for impact."_

* * *

_New Orleans University _

_College Freshman Week _

_7:00 A.M. _

* * *

It's the beginning of her freshman year in college. Elena was jittery with excitement as she stepped out from her brother's truck. Jeremy pulled their suitcases out from the trunk. Elena stepped out and gazed at the sight before her.

She grinned widely at the school building before her. It was magnificent in her eyes; the dorms were off in different parts. The students cheerily walked with their friends and families while saying their last goodbyes.

Jeremy parked his truck next to the rest of the crew. Caroline and Tyler drove in the same car, while Klaus joined Bonnie. Klaus was at his third year in college so it was obvious he'd help Caroline around.

The whole crew was here and Elena's life seemed perfect. Her little brother who was way too smart for his age had skipped a year and joined Elena. All she needed was a hot boyfriend, and a new adventurous life.

"It would be great if you helped, Elena." Jeremy grunted as he started to pull Elena's luggage.

She snapped back to reality and rushed over to Jeremy. She took her suit case in her hands and planted it on the ground. She slammed the door close and locked it as they finished unpacking.

Caroline talked to Bonnie and Tyler and Klaus tried their best to avoid each other. Tyler gave glares at Klaus as they unloaded their trunk as well. Once everyone was done, they all traveled their separate ways.

Elena stood by the end of the sidewalk with a map of the school in her hand. Her baggage was planted beside her. Everyone passed, not giving a second glance. Though a few gorgeously looking men, watched her coolly.

Elena was always favorited by men, but since her over protected father only approved Matt Donovan, she didn't have any relationship with any other guys. But now she's free she can finally date who she wants, and though many men have already lost their virginity by now, Elena was still the pure one. Not that it bothered her, she was proud. She wanted it to be special, not quick and rough like it was just a meaningless hookup.

Elena focused back on the map and sighed heavily, as she was frustrated enough with the fact she had tons of luggage to carry. She ran her fingers through her hair roughly, trying to understand the directions to her dorm.

"Your dorm is right by the school library." A voice said. Elena figured it was a man's but didn't look up until she finally realized who it was.

"Stefan?" She squeaked. She recomposed herself from the sight of this gorgeous looking man before her. Stefan Forbes was Caroline's adoptive brother, who was supposed to be going to NYU, not New Orleans.

"What are you doing here? Did Caroline invite you?" Elena asked still a little shocked from Stefan's arrival. Elena always had an attraction to Stefan. It was undeniable.

"Nah, I made some last minute changes, I wanted to be as close to home as possible." Stefan said matter-of-factly.

"Ha, that is the very opposite from what I want." Elena retorted, getting irritated at what her parents told her to do, she still remember the moment clear in her mind.

_"You're kidding me?" Grayson retorted a bit flustered from Elena's choice of college._

_"No, Dad. I'm not. I really want to go here, mostly because I want to be as far away from Mystic Falls as possible." Elena whined._

_"Well, we want you close to home." Miranda spoke from off by the stove cooking eggs. Elena huffed disappointingly._

_"If I want to become a writer, I have to be the best. I have to be where the best have been. John Green. Stephanie Meyer. They are _great _writers, who all went to great schools!" Elena protested, hoping to change their minds._

_"I'm sorry Elena. I'm not letting you." Her father answered, sliding the pamphlets back across the table._

_"You always want to rule my life! I'm not your little girl anymore! I'm going to grow up, get married, and have kids! I'm going to make my own choices!" Elena yelled loudly enough for her mother to flinch at her tone._

_Frustrated, Elena ran her hand through her hair, slamming the papers to the floor and stomping up the stairs. She was acting childish, but she didn't care. She was upset; she wanted to make her own choices._

_She slammed her body against the wall of the wall, and slide down disappointingly._

_"Hey 'Lena. It'll be okay, you'll be a great writer." Jeremy said soothingly from his room. He stuck his head out from his doorway with a soft smile._

_"Glad to see you believe in me, Jer."_

_"I always do." He answered kindly._

"How so?" Stefan asked with a raised eyebrow.

"I was planning on moving to the UK for Briton, but as clingy as parents get, they wanted me to be close as possible." Elena answered with a half-smile.

"That's sucks." Stefan laughed carefully trying not to press any of her well-known nerves.

"No kidding." She laughed sarcastically. She picked her bags on, and hissed as the pain on her shoulders grew heavier and heavier.

"I'll be on my way. Thanks for the directions." Elena answered as she walked off. She trudged the whole way down. It wasn't all that embarrassing, though she suspected she looked stupid as hell, it was still possible someone thought she was cute.

She walked through the halls, passing girls who had already met their roommates. Once Elena reached her door, she kicked it open with the tip of her foot. She sighed and let out a relieved breath as she dropped her luggage.

A blonde sat by her side of the bed with her desk filled with her necessary materials, she sat with a bored expression and dully stood up and took on glance at Elena and her expression lightly changed.

"Rebekah Mikaelson," she said referring to herself. "You must be Elena."

"_You'll like it here Elena. I can show you around._

_There are plenty of hot, single men, who'd_

_Die to meet you._

_Trust me, Elena."_

"Hi." Elena said straight faced. She didn't have a clue how the blond wonder knew her name. Rebekah stood up and moved her items off Elena's bed and onto the floor.

"Lotta luggage you got there?" Rebekah eyed her six duffle bags that surrounded Elena at her feet. Elena looked down then up again, with her lips pressed together in a smile.

"Yeah, I brought everything." Elena answered with a light laugh. Rebekah cocked an eyebrow nodded her head silently.

"Why?" Rebekah asked her eyes furrowed.

"I won't be going home for break." Elena answered looking down with tears pricking her eyes.

"Same here, I guess we'll be spring break buddies, huh?" Rebekah chuckled as she lounged in her bed. She crossed her leg over the other and raised both arms over her head.

"Yeah, I guess so." Elena answered with a light chuckle. Elena dragged her baggage to her dresser and started to unpack. She looked back at Rebekah who mindlessly texted.

Elena sighed as she continued her unpacking. She was startled a bit when the door opened and a gorgeously looking man walked through.

He had raven black hair that was shuffled just the right way; his crystal blue eyes drew her in, and his jawline was just impeccable.

He wore blue jeans, and a white shirt. His black boots thudded with every step he took. He walked up to Rebekah, who ignored his very presence.

"Rebekah? Let's go." The man said aloud, standing in front her. Elena continued to stare back and forth between the two. The man turned his head and cocked it sideways at Elena.

She blushed intensely as he continued to stare her down. Rebekah put her phone on her nightstand and stood from the bed. She skipped over to Elena and wrapped her arms around her in a hug.

"Can't you see I'm busy bonding with my new roommate? Her name is Elena." Rebekah coolly said smiling down at Elena.

Damon looked at Rebekah with annoyed eyes and pressed his lips in a straight line. She smiled sarcastically and let her arms drop to her side. The man looked at Elena with an annoyed expression.

Elena didn't know what to think. This gorgeous man came looking for her roommate, she couldn't tell whether they were dating or not. It wasn't hard to believe but Elena wanted to believe that he was single. Because, _damn_…he was sexy.

"Yeah, sure. I'll you up later then." He retorted with anger in his voice. He left the room with a door slamming shut. Rebekah couldn't hold back the smirk. She raced towards the door and opened it wide; she jumped out and cupped her mouth with her hands.

"Thanks for checking up on me, brotha!" Rebekah screamed into the hall with a wide grin across her face.

Rebekah walked into the room, holding her head down as she laughed. She lifted her hand and brushed her fingers through her blond hair. She grinned at Elena, whose face was blank with no emotion.

Elena still wasn't over the man who walked in. She understood that they were siblings, and didn't look much alike. It was obvious.

"Is he your brother?" Elena asked thinking of his stare pierce into her. Rebekah tilted her head and sighed heavily before answering.

Rebekah hated thinking about who her family really is. Because genetically, she had _no one_. She was alone, and always will be. But she had Damon. Her somewhat half-brother. He was always there for her when she needed him. They've been together since they were 17. When the orphanage decided it was enough to keep the two most irritable children out into the real world.

"Genetically; no. Emotionally; yes." Rebekah answered with a smile, trying to hide the pain behind it.

Elena noticed the smile before; she pulled it off many times. She hid the unbearable pain behind that smile so many times in her life. She didn't know much about Rebekah but she knew there was pain. Pain that was so bad, it had to be kept behind a fake happiness.

Elena smiled softly; Rebekah swallowed the lump in her throat and turned away trying to oppress the tears from falling down her cheeks. She breathed in deep, and Elena grabbed her shoulder softly.

"I know that smile is just hiding pain." Elena said softly, Rebekah shrugged off her grip.

"I really don't want to talk about my feelings. You don't know what I'm hurting from. Trust me. " Rebekah said picking her pone up, trying to avoid Elena.

"If it makes you feel any better, my family isn't working too well at all." Elena said with her lips pressed together as her voice seemed to crack.

"Just stop. I don't need your sympathy." Rebekah retorted, finally turning around to face Elena. Her blue eyes were fierce with anger and sadness. Elena saw the same look in her eyes.

"I'm not giving you sympathy Rebekah. My own family is against every word that comes from my mouth. But the only person that keeps me going is my brother. If anything happens to him, I don't know what I'd do." Elena blurted out.

Rebekah's eyebrows furrowed and she took a few steps back.

"Really?" She asked confused. She thought all families got along and never fought, everything would be perfect in her eyes. But she guessed wrong.

"Having a family means they care for you and will always have your back. And in my life right now, my brother is the only family for me." Elena whispered her voice breaking and a single tear dripping across her cheek.

Rebekah laughed lightly while stifling her tears.

"That was quite the roommate bonding." Rebekah laughed wiping a tear that escaped. Elena shuffled her hair and kicked her bags out of their way. Rebekah sat by her desk, pulling her laptop out and screening up a movie.

"Next step: Watch a movie." Rebekah said in her best serious voice. Elena smiled and shared the seat beside her.

"Thanks for making me realize, any family is better than having none." Rebekah smiled at her. Elena nodded, assuring her a 'you're welcome'.

"Are we friends now?" Elena asked unsure if this bonding moment was only temporary.

"Friends? Are you kidding me?" Rebekah asked surprised. Elena was unsure on what she'll say but by the looks of it, it was something positive. "We're like best friends now. I mean, I barely share my emotions with my brother!" She laughed cheerily.

She focused back onto the screen of her laptop playing the movie _Twilight_. As corny as it was, Elena couldn't help but be dragged into Edward's golden eyes.

Elena smiled to herself, knowing her first day was going well. She saw a hot guy, and made a new friend. Maybe this year is starting off not the way she expected; it was even better.


	2. Belong

**Chapter 2: I lost control**

* * *

"_Elena looks perfect. When I look at her a drumming noise_

_Starts when I look at her. She seems sweeter than heaven_

_Hotter than hell. The noise is louder than sirens_

_And louder than bells._

_The drumming noise won't stop._

_It fills my head up, it gets louder and louder._

_I don't want it to stop."_

* * *

**Damon's point of view**

* * *

Damon marched down the hall with his brow furrowed and annoyed. Rebekah was supposed to arrive at his dorm so they went to the front desk and finish some paper work.

Going to college and finding the money for it wasn't hard for Rebekah or Damon. Most times, the ay they'd get money was by robbing banks or small stores. They saved it up ever since they left the orphanage. Though they didn't get much of an education then, they were surprisingly smart and when they applied they offered scholarships for both Rebekah and himself.

He made his way to Rebekah dorm and kicked the door open. Rebekah eyes continued to stare down at her phone. Damon's eyes shot straight to the beauty by the dresser. He couldn't help but bit his lip at the distraction.

_Stop it. Get yourself together Salvatore! You'll probably see her later on, you can bang her some other time. Turn to Rebekah, stop staring at the sexy…brown haired girl hose staring straight back at you!_

Damon wiped any expression from his face and took a serious glance at the girl, her cheeks flushed into a light red and she continued to stare at him with lust in her eyes. His pep talk didn't help, everything he looked away all he could think about was_ her_.

"Rebekah, let's go." I sternly said, hoping the girl behind me wasn't afraid.

_Who are you kidding? Anyone afraid of Damon Salvatore brings them closer. You want to bang her, right? Get her scared. Get her thinking about you. Which isn't hard._

Rebekah skipped over to the girl who blankly continued to stare at him. Rebekah wrapped her arms around her, causing her to snap from her trance. She looked over to Rebekah with a soft but mildly confused smile.

"Can't you see I'm busy bonding with my new roommate? Her name is Elena." Rebekah coolly said smiling down at Elena.

_So that's her name. It fits her perfectly. God…she's beautiful and really sexy in those clothes._

_NO. You only hook up, and go back to your normal life. No extended feelings. Damn but to have her every time. That'd be great, no doubt._

_Pull yourself together Damon! Pretend you're not interested._

Damon pulled his lips in a straight, and made an annoyed expression at Elena. He could tell she seemed a little confused on why I looked at her that way. But the more curious they are the better.

"Yeah, sure. I'll pick you up later then." Damon said before exiting the room, and slammed the door closed. He made his way down the hall with one thought in his mind.

_Elena. Elena. Elena. Elena. Elena. Elena. Elena. Elena. Elena. Elena. Elena._

He tried his best to forget everything, how beautiful Elena looked. How she flustered under his stare. He's seen the same look on every other woman but it's different on her.

Damon arrived back to his dorm, hoping his roommate was already there, so he wasn't alone and his mind didn't fill him with thoughts on Elena.

He opened the door wide and stopped in his tracks to find a teenage boy in a black suit and tie. His brown hair was brushed and shaped into a quiff. He stood by Damon's desk and examined the pictures of Rebekah and him.

"Who are you?" Damon questions, taking the picture from his hand and placing it back on his desk. The boy smiled and chuckled lightly as he walked over to Damon.

"I'm Henrik Mikaelson." He said aloud. The name meant nothing to Damon at first but after a few seconds it all connected. Damon's eyes were fierce and angry.

"Mikaelson?" Damon asked in disbelief.

"Yes. I'm here to take Rebekah." Henrik answered dully as if he didn't even care. It was obvious it wasn't true. Or at least that's what Damon wanted to believe.

"Listen kid, this better not be a joke. How do you even know her?" Damon asked anger building up in him

"She's my sister of course." Henrik said matter-of-factly.

"You're lying." Damon exclaimed with his voice rough. He didn't want to here the answer that seemed to be right.

"I've been watching you two for a while; I decided it's time to bring her home." Henrik said pulling out his phone, showing Damon multiple pictures of them.

"Her home is with me, kid." Damon answered with tears building up. He didn't care if he looked weak. Rebekah was the only family he has. His mother is dead, his father didn't want him. And he had no siblings whatsoever.

"You can barely afford clothing for her. Being with her _real _family will change that." Henrik said with concern in his eyes, knowing Damon was in denial.

"You can't just take her! She's been with me for five years!" He yelled back at him. Henrik pressed his lips together and patted Damon's shoulder.

"It's time for her to come home." He said softly.

"Get out. Now." Damon ordered, he was about to burst with rage.

"Just tell her I came by. Or I will." Henrik said with fierceness in his voice. Henrik walked to the door and closed it softly. Damon broke.

He screamed with rage and slammed his fists on his wall creating small cracks. His breath was ragged and fast. He knocked his items off his desk with no care in the world. Tears dropped from his eyes. It was the first time since he last cried. He didn't care. He was about to lose his only family he had left.

He took his clothes and dropped them all over the floor. He flipped his desk so it relieved his anger. He needed more. He lost control. As much as he didn't want to confess it…he lost control. He could feel it.

The glass vase in the room was smashed and flakes cut into the tips of his fingers which caused him to bleed. He stood in the middle of the room his hair shuffled making him look insane. Blood mixed with his salty tears. His fists clutched a shard of glass making blood ooze from his palm. He liked the pain. He wanted it stronger. He wanted the pain to blind the emotions.

He no longer had any thoughts about Elena, or Henrik or Rebekah. He just thought to himself over and over again.

_I'm all alone. I'll always be alone, won't I?_

* * *

_"It's not that I hate sunny, beautiful days like these, I actually adore them._

_It's just the 'Monday' part I hate._

_You have to wake up and get used to the early waking._

_It sucks."_

* * *

Monday Morning, two weeks after school started

6:30 A.M

* * *

The alarm sounded off and Elena groaned loudly. Rebekah smacked her lightly on the head. Elena covered her head with the pillow and groaned even more.

"Rise and shine. Time for morning classes!" Rebekah cheered sarcastically ripping the sheet off Elena's body. Rebekah laughed at Elena shot up glaring at her. Elena tried her best not to laugh along with Rebekah. Though she'd try and fail every time.

Since the entire school arrived two weeks ago, Elena had enough time get ready to practice on waking up early. She decided on taking early morning classes so she'd have the afternoon off. But she still wasn't looking forward to waking up early since then.

Jeremy texted her Sunday while her and Rebekah took the day off, saying he would pick her up Monday afternoon to drive to dinner. He made plans with a couple of friends to celebrate their first day of college.

Rebekah danced around playing _What you know _by Two Door Cinema Club on blast. Rebekah wore a plain white tee and black studded boots with simple skinny jeans. Her hair was short and straight, so she didn't do much but braided a strand off the the side. she wore no makeup whatsoever and Elena was so jealous on how perfect she looked.

"I'm up. I'm up!" Elena repeatedly said while partially laughing. Rebekah made her way to the speaker turning the tune down. She placed her hands on her hips and eagerly smiled down at half dressed Elena.

"My brother is coming soon, so get dressed!" Rebekah said seriously, looking down at her phone and answered one of Damon's text.

Elena's eyes widened and she scrambled to her feet. She hasn't seen him since the first day of school. Though she thought about him when she'd fall asleep, she tried and tried and _tried _to get him out of her head. But he was in every corner of her mind.

Though they haven't properly met properly, she saw him in a few places around the campus around another woman. She would get knots in her stomach as she watched him kiss another woman, though she couldn't tell if it was jealousy or want. But she passed it off as wishing that she was kissing Damon herself.

She wanted to be in his embrace and felt him press up against her chest. Feeling her breasts harden and his bulge press up between her thighs and she grabbed onto his hair. She wanted to feel his hands roam all over her body and his lips kiss up against her stomach and neck.

"Elena?" Rebekah asked smiling. Elena snapped out her trance and felt blood rush up to her cheeks.

Elena scrambled on tight jeans with a purple v-neck and simple black shoes. She combed through her hair and rushed to put top eyeliner on. Rebekah watched her amused by Elena's rush to get dressed.

Damon barged through the door as Elena brushed her teeth away. Rebekah smiled at him as he furrowed his eyebrows in confusion.

_Why was she smiling? Is there someone behind me? Never mind, she's just really happy this morning I guess. _He thought to himself.

"Hey, ready to head out?" He asked. Elena froze and spit out while wiping her mouth from the toothpaste. She stared into the mirror as she heard his voice rumble through the room. She didn't move an inch, she wasn't ready to see him again or hear his deep rough voice.

Rebekah picked her purse up and started to the door. "See ya, Elena." She yelled out. Damon squinted to the bathroom door, hearing the water was still running from the sink.

"Elena's here?" He asked surprisingly, not expecting her to be so quiet and not come out with a hello. He hasn't seen her for a while, but certain moments when he'd seen her around campus, he would've sworn she would take small glances at him...but the odds are she didn't.

Her name was still imprinted in his mind and rolled off his tongue so perfectly. He hasn't been able to stop thinking about her, and now he wanted to see her come out of the bathroom in just a towel, revealing her bare soft legs and toned skin with collarbones.

He didn't know much about her but he wanted to. It was a foreign thing for him.

Getting to know the girls he slept with.

He hasn't slept with Elena though he wished she would. But whenever he saw her brown doe eyes it was hard not to buckle as she stared up at him. He erased his mind and regretted what he asked. He stepped out and guided Rebekah down the hall shutting the door behind. He regretted it.

_He really did._

Elena stepped from the bathroom ad let out relieve sigh. Though sh wished it was just Damon and her in the room alone. Not just her.

She looked around for her phone and called Jeremy.

_"Hey 'Lena."_

"Hi Jer, I'm running a bit late to class."

_"No problem, I'm pretty sure they'll let you in without caring. I mean, come on. It's college, Elena."_

"Right, right. See ya."

She hung up the phone throwing it on the bed. She had no reason to call Jeremy. If she didn't her mind would wander off into those crystal blue eyes. Those eyes that drew her in and that were her greatest weakness.

* * *

Elena was stuck in her sixth period, it was three o' clock and she dying of bordem. She yearned for her favorite class of all, the entire reason she decided to come to college.

_Creative writing._

It was her passion. Her life. She started as a child, but as a teen she was having second thought since her parents expected it of her. Elena didn't want people to expect things of her. She wanted to be random and unexpected, which was doubtful.

She was in another writing class but the others compare nothing to her class with Professor Alaric Saltzman.

She stared blankly at her notebook doodling and taking notes on her new story she planned on writing. A love story, of course. She was a romantic. She'll always be.

"Miss Gilbert?" The professor spoke pulling Elena from her trance. She sat up and straight and glanced around the room and hoping to find those blue eyes. She looked away and swallowed the hard lump in her throat.

"Yes?" She asked and the multiple eyes looked back down at their books.

"In order to catch a readers attention, what do you do?" He asked partially annoyed by her partial participation.

"You get them interested, whether it's a deep dark subject on the main character, or a love interest. Something that brings you in wanting to turn the next page." Elena answered confidently.

The professor nodded, impressed by Elena's thoughts. He continued his lecture and focused on our new paper.

The bell rang and Elena collected her things and started to head out, when someone stopped her.

"Yes Professor Lake?" She asked, hoping she wasn't in trouble.

"Your last paper on the England, 1537 creative writing was immaculate. You seem to know what you're doing with your studies." He beamed.

"Thank you! I means so much!" Elena smiled feeling proud of herself for staying up so late finishing it.

"I'd like to post it in a creative writing competition with your permission of course." He said handing her a permission slip.

Her eyes widened massively with an attached grin. She nodded mindlessly and eagerly as she signed down on the paper.

"Wonderful, they'll announce the winner at a festival two weeks from now." He said nodding and stashing the paper away.

Elena waved goodbye and rushed to her next class. She wasn't sure what to expect since she just received amazing news.

As she happily arrived at the door, she looked around the room in search of her seat. Alaric hasn't started the class and just sat by his desk grading paper. The seat beside her was still empty from the first day. It seemed the student hasn't arrived in over two weeks for an odd reason.

The bell rang and Alaric stood up and starting writing our next topic on the board. Every shuffled around for their notebooks and pens and eagerly started to write.

Damon barged through the door with his satchel around his arm and his laptop in his other. Alaric took a side glance at him and snickered to himself.

"Hello, Mr. Salvatore. I see you decided to attend class today, though it started two weeks ago." Alaric smiled at him, gesturing to the seat chart so he'd see where he sat.

"Yeah, didn't get the memo Alaric." Damon answered laughed. Everyone ignored their mutual friendship they created from last year's class. But Elena had no clue Damon was there and was staring straight at her.

Elena was caught up in her next writing essay and didn't notice as Damon sauntered over and took a seat beside her. She looked up from her notebook mindlessly and smiled cheerfully at him.

"Hi, I'm Elena." She said smiling, not realizing she looked right into crystal blue eyes. Her mind then noticed she looked at him, he smirked at her as her eyes widened in embarrassment.

"I know. I'm Damon Salvatore." He smiled at her, noticing her perfectly plump lips. He just wanted to take her then and now as she stared up at him with her brown doe eyes.

Elena was starstruck by him. He smelled angelic yet dangerous. He had his black hair shuffled perfectly, his light stubble looked perfectly on him. He wore a black v-neck with dark jeans and black boots.

Elena just wanted to pull him by the neck and smother her lips against his perfect skin. She ached for him like she never did for anyone. Though she wished could just give in, she promised herself she would wait for the perfect moment and man.

Damon took a glance at her and he felt himself harden in an instant. It was no doubt she had no clue what he did to her. Her tight jeans revealed her shaped out thighs, and her shirt made her full breasts come out perfectly. He wanted her. In more ways than one.

He wanted to know her feelings, hopes and dreams, everything. But it wasn't something he did often. He was scared, he didn't know whether he was changing but he didn't like it. He wanted his old self. The man who never cared on knowing the woman's name. He got what he wanted and that was enough. He had everything he needed. But now, it's different.

Damon pulled his laptop out and started to write his new story.

He loved writing, he enjoyed creating fictional characters that signified a radiance he never saw in himself. He created his characters out of courage and bravery. Something he never had. The characters have families and friends who supports their decisions. He never had that but he wish he could. He wanted to become a writer for as long as he can remember.

Elena continued to doodle but tried her best for it not to be bad. She was sort of a perfectionist and Damon was most probably watching her. Though she doubted he would watch her. She considers herself a boring small town girl.

* * *

Class was thirty minuets away from ending and, Damon looked over at Elena. She focused on Alaric's lecture while writing down a couple of writing ideas. She bit her lip as she concentrated. Damon was amused by how dedicated she was in the classroom, He liked her. Which was a first.

He would get caught up in a few things and asked her for a re-run, she would tremor and stutter trying to answer him at first but look into his eyes and pulled herself together.

He on the other hand tried his best not to make love to her on the classroom table. Every time she'd move her hair it revealed her soft skin on her neck, making him want to lean down and leave trails of opened mouthed kisses.

She reminded him of someone he knew, someone that he saw before. She had a soft round nose, and big brown eyes. Then it _clicked._

"Are you Jeremy Gilbert's sister?" He asked bluntly. Elena didn't notice what he asked until he tapped her shoulder for her attention. Her body was filled with heat at the touch of his fingers. She turned her head to him in surprise.

"Yes, why?" She asked genuinely wondering how he knew her brother's name.

"He's my roommate, nice kid." He answered bluntly, like it didn't matter. He looked back at his screen and Elena wanted to keep hearing his voice. the roughness of his tone and the deep tone made her wet. Just imagining him moaning her name and she rubbed up against him.

_Stop Elena. You barely know him. You're really stupid if you think he'll sleep with you. You already know you promised to wait. You can't turn back now! _Her conscience yelled back at her, trying to knock some sense into her.

"Oh." She answered back, hating herself for sounding so stupid. He smirked and shook his head lightly.

She hoped he wasn't laughing at her. She looked back down at her notebook and laid her head against it. Alaric stopped his lecture and ordered us to start our new topic. Instead Elena stared at Damon as he concentrated on his laptop. She continued to stare into his eyes. He was so beautiful.

"It's not polite to stare, Elena." He whispered to her, he turned his head with a smiled on his lips. He winked at her before returning his attention to his screen.

Elena's cheeks reddened. She wanted him hear him say her name again. She loved the way it rolled off his tongue, like he was meant to be calling her name. She couldn't help it, all she thought about was making love to him.

Though she was inexperienced she didn't stop herself from watching videos on how to have sex. She hated the weird feeling in her stomach, or how pathetic she must look for watching it but she couldn't help herself.

"Sorry." She mumbled to herself. She wanted to say his name as well, she hoped he noticed how much she wanted to say it. she yearned to make a statement with his name at the end. She wanted to see how it felt to say his name. _Damon_. She repeated in her head. _Damon Salvatore._

The class bell rang and Damon stood from his seat. As he made it out the door, Alaric called him over and started to talk with him. Elena was the last one to exit besides Damon. As she passed by him, he noticed her.

"See ya, Elena." Damon spoke out. Elena smiled and nodded. Too dumbstruck to understand anything anymore. As she made it down the hallway, enough to be out of reach from Alaric's classroom she jumped up and down gleefully.

"He said my name!" She chirped making a little dance and stomping her small feet. She sighed happily, noticing how immature she was acting. though as mature Elena looked, not many men from Mystic Falls took interest in her. They knew she was a virgin and a goody-two-shoes. And now, no one knew who she was. She could be different. She doesn't have to be small town Elena Gilbert anymore.

"Elena?" A British accent sounded out. She lifted head and wiped the smile off her face and saw Kol Jefferson. Her old friend from writing camp back at high school. Her _first_ kiss.

"Oh my god? Kol!" She cheered. She wrapped her arms around his neck, he lifted her up by the legs and laughed.

Kol was never the one to take advantage of women. He was sweet and caring. And he cared so much for Elena. When they kissed, she told him how safe she felt knowing her first kiss was taken by someone she loved and cared for. Though she never loved Kol in a romantic way and neither did he. But that's not what Damon thought.

He saw from the end of the hall, as Elena dug her chin into the crook of Kol's neck and her arms wrapped around him tightly. Her legs were wrapped around Kol's waist. Damon hated seeing her in someone else's arms. Though he knew it was jealousy, he didn't want to admit it.

He barely knew Elena. How could he be jealous?

_Because you like her, you idiot. _His conscience yelled at him. _No. No. I don't like women. I fuck them._

Damon walked to the nearest flight of stairs with his teeth and fists clenched. God, he hated the feeling.

Elena jumped down, noticing Damon by the end of the hall. She looked as he rushed to the stairs. She returned her attention back to Kol. He smiled cheerily at her.

"I had no idea you'd be coming here!" She smiled. He laughed and pulled his backpack further up his shoulder.

"Neither did I." He laughed lightly. "Chuck wanted me to come here."

Chuck Jefferson was Kol's adoptive father. Kol was adopted a few weeks before writing camp. We became close friends and were two peas in a pod.

He and Elena shared the same great dream. Becoming world known writers. They talked about what storied they'd write and the amazing tours they'd have. They wanted the fame and money. But they wanted the passion more.

"Well, hey you got to see me." Elena laughed. She then remembered Jeremy was holding a college get together and she thought it'd be best to invite Kol. "Jer's having a party. I'd love it if you come!" She smiled hoping he'd say yes. He nodded and headed off to his next class with a goodbye.

_Maybe Monday's aren't as bad as they seem. _Elena thought. She was closer to getting to know Damon, and her parents haven't called her once. Kol was here and she felt great.

But as she reached for her phone that vibrated in her back pocket she pulled it out to receive exciting news.

_Jeremy: Change of plans! Damon will be picking you up, he's my roommate so don't worry. He said his sister is your roommate she he'll come up as well. I have to pick up Bonnie._

Me: Awesome! And I ran into Kol just now, I hope it's okay that he can come along.

_Jeremy: Sure! No problem, the more the better. This is a party after all!_

Elena was squirming already. She rushed back to her dorm in search for a dress later that day. She had to impress Damon, she didn't want him to think she was so clumsy and dumbfound as she was earlier in Mr. Saltzman's class. Though, that's not what Damon thought of her at all.


	3. Stay

**Chapter 3**

* * *

_"She get what she wants when she's touching me._

_I've should have known better, but she took my self control._

_You can take my heart, like a criminal._

_So, grab me by the neck and don't you eve let go._

_Mess me up so good until i'm begging for more._

_You'll tear me apart, like an animal."_

* * *

Monday Afternoon

1:30 P.M

* * *

Elena was still indecisive on what outfit she should wear. She didn't want to be too party. Just somewhat casual. She was never one to wear dresses but now that she's older, she decided she wanted to change but now and be different. She'll no longer be the goody goody predictable girl back at Mystic Falls. She wants to be reckless and unpredictable. She wants people to be amazed by her personality.

cgvrShe ended up picking a black top with a low v-neck and tight skinny jeans. Her worn down converse sneakers have been with her since high school. She gave up on being a new person and thought it'd be best to spend one more day being her old self.

Rebekah was showering and humming along to her own tune. Elena laid, arms spread out on her bed. The silence of just Rebekah's humming and the shower water running got Elena dozing off to sleep.

Just as Elena started to sleep the door was knocked open with Damon sauntering in. He had a straight face that was steaming with anger. His hair was shuffled and his clothes were wrinkled. It seemed to look as if he woke up.

"Damon's here?" Rebekah screamed from the shower, shutting off the water. Elena headed into the bathroom, assuring Rebekah that Damon arrived. Though he would've answered her himself, he seemed a little grumpy from his disturbed nap.

"Don't be a grump, greet Elena." Rebekah teased and she exited the bathroom in a robe. She searched her drawers for underwear and a bra and entered the bathroom again.

Elena got out and headed to her drawer as well, but as he moved away they miscalculate and bumped into each other Elena slammed into his chest, backing him to the wall with her hands pressed flat on his torso. He had a devilish grin only he could pull off. Elena's eyes widened as she embarrassed herself. Damon grabbed hold of her wrists, preventing her from leaving his presence.

Everything in his conscience told him to hold back, to not kiss her. But as much strength as it took to hold himself in place, he couldn't.

He grabbed hold of her wrists, her brown doe eyes looking his crystal blue ones. She slowly inched closer to him. They both knew it was wrong. But it felt so right. And though, they knew nothing of each other they didn't care.

Elena was the one who didn't care an ounce whether she knew Damon or not. but she had to keep reminding herself, that she'll wait for the right guy. The same question kept popping in her head.

What if he_ is_ the right guy?

"No." Elena whispered just as their lips almost met. She shook her head and mumbled something Damon couldn't hear. She looked back at him with no longer brown doe eyes but with sadness and tears filled in them. Just seeing those miserable eyes made him want to beat himself. He should have never done that.

_Since when did you care about some girls feelings? _His inner self yelled out.

_Since I saw Elena Gilbert came into my life. _Damon yelled back in his mind.

He didn't know what it felt to love at first sight, he didn't know whether this was it. She was his other half, he hasn't spoke a full sentence to her. But just seeing her move, or smile or laugh just made him feel like he couldn't live without her.

"I gotta go. You can leave without me." she muttered grabbing her phone and coat while leaving to the door in a rush.

"Wait, Elena." Damon called out in desperation. She shut the door just as he reached up to her. He stood behind the door with his head down. He felt like beating himself.

_I'm such a fucking idiot._

* * *

Elena roamed the campus in search for one of her friends. She failed terribly. She couldn't find anyone, Jeremy must have left to the party already. she sat down by a bench and stared off into space, thinking about anything but Damon. But she failed miserably.

Her mind kept wandering off to her moment with Damon. She wanted to give in so bad. It took every fiber in her being to utter a word. She didn't want to admit it but it was obvious Damon had the same attraction Elena had for him.

If she gave in, there was no telling what Rebekah would have opened the door to. Elena didn't want to close the door, separating her from Damon. She wanted him so bad. Her body ached for him in ways she never thought she could.

_You don't even know him._

_But I want to know him._

_You can't._

_What if I want to._

_You still can't._

_Why not?_

_He's rebellious. Can't you tell?_

_I like rebellious._

_Do you?_

_Yes._

_Then you're in for hell._

_You don't know that._

_He's dangerous._

_You can't tell._

_You can see it yourself, don't lie._

_No, he's not dangerous._

_Yes he is._

_Stop._

_No._

_Stop! I'm not sweet little Elena anymore!_

_You are at heart!_

_No I'm not!_

_Yes you are! And you know it! Don't deny it!_

_Stop talking! Just stop! I'm not!_

_Yes! Admit Elena, you don't really want to change._

_I'm tired of you! STOP SPEAKING!_

She snapped out of her discussion with her conscience in a blink of an eye.

She didn't notice the tears in her eyes until one escaped and traveled down her cheek. She wiped it away and tried her best not to hear the voice in her head. The one that sounded a lot like her overprotective mother.

The same mother who wants her to stay the same. Sweet, innocent, and clean Elena Gilbert.

Those were one of the reasons she wants to be rebellious. She wanted to prove her mother wrong. That she wasn't innocent by nature. She was just a lion kept in it's cage, growling to get out.

Elena knew what she wanted and that is Damon Salvatore.

She didn't know anything about him, but just the intense silence made her want to know more. She couldn't just turn away, she never felt the feeling before. She wasn't going to leave it without figuring out what it was. She wasn't giving up.

Elena promised herself that she will never turn away from Damon. She follow up to the feeling and the tension. She would stop herself if it got too close to the one thing she didn't want to lose. Her virginity.

* * *

"Damn, I can't believe she ran." Rebekah sighed. Damon stood by the door, pretending like he didn't care. The party started and Rebekah was looking for Elena frantically.

"Neither can I." Damon replied lying. He believed it. I mean, who wouldn't run away from

Damon was surrounded by people he had never seen before. Though Jeremy didn't count, he was occupied by some Asian looking girl. Casually, Damon made his way past the people until one stopped him.

"Hey." The stern voice called out. Damon looked up at him, he looked peculiar. His brown hair and green eyes which reminded him of his father. "I'm Stefan Forbes, I'm in your floor at the dorms."

Damon nodded remembering him. He was the crazy ass drunk guy at Jeremy's party. He actually thought he was pretty cool, until he found out that he was Elena's childhood friend...then Damon got jealous .

"Yeah, Stefan, right?" He nodded agreeing. Damon had to admit he seemed familiar. "Listen, _Stefan_. I've had a bad day, so I'm going to get drunk. But you're a cool guy."

Stefan laughed as Damon continued walking towards the bar. "Yeah, sure man." Stefan yelled back, before setting his eyes on the most beautiful woman he's seen.

She stood laughing with a glass in her hand, she had short blond hair, her clear blue eyes looks perfect without makeup on. She wore a floral white top with black tight pants and boots. Stefan couldn't keep his eyes off her. And when she turned her head, Rebekah realized something she wasn't ready for.

* * *

_Monday, 8:30 P.M_

* * *

Elena finally got a cab to the party that was already over. She sighed as she called Jeremy for the fifth time and it lead straight to voice mail.

"Hey Jer. I'm so sorry I missed your party! I promise I'll make it up to you. I'm so sorry." She whispered into the phone. She looked up from the ground to see the quiet bar where she should have been. She let her brother down.

As she entered the bar the lights were dim and the quiet sound of music echoed throughout the room. she spotted a raven haired man slumped over his seat facing his back facing her. she felt chills rise her spine as she mindlessly moved towards him in a slow pace.

_Elena, stop. Don't do this._

_Why not?_

_You'll regret it._

_No I won't, I know what I want._

_No you don't._

_Stop. Telling. Me. What. I. Want._

She took a seat beside him, looking as he mindlessly looked down at his bourbon.

"Elena." he spoke, his voice rough and scratchy from the alcohol.

"Damon." She mocked his dramatic tone. He smiled and chuckled lightly before turning to face her.

"You look beautiful." He smiled down at her figure. He couldn't think straight, so if he said something he shouldn't have he'll regret it for life.

"Thank you. And you look drunk off your ass." Elena laughed as he smiled down at her, his vivid blue eyes were drowsy and she wondered if he thought he was dreaming.

"I'm always drunk, 'Lena." He answered. She smiled softly as he called her by her nickname. He smacked his head on the counter and moaned in headache.

"I see. That's good to know." She smiled down at him, she took his bourbon and pulled it away from his view.

"Sorry I tried to kiss you. I usually act like an idiot." He laughed, noticing what he was saying but couldn't stop.

"It's okay." She answered softly smiling, she didn't know how to answer him.

"I've been wanting to kiss you since the first day I laid my eyes on you." he told her bluntly. His eyes smiled as he grinned lazily.

"Really?" She asked in a sarcastic surprise. But really, she was cheering inside.

"Yup." He hiccuped before knocking his head on the counter once more.

Elena smiled and rubbed his back, she took a slower pace at rubbing, wanting to feel his back muscles. Though, she wished she touched them bare. He turned his head, so he'd look at her from the corner.

"Dance with me." He mumbled as he lifted his head up. she widened her eyes and shook her head disapprovingly.

"No way. I'm a horrible dancer." She laughed backing away slowly.

"Don't worry, I'm an expert." He mumbled, he took the bottom of her bar stool and scooter her closer to him. Their thighs touched and heat shot up Elena's legs.

"You're drunk. I don't think so." She smiled, looking into his blue eyes, searching for some honesty in them.

"Have some fun Elena, join me." He grinned as he stood up from his stool, taking her by the hand and slowly dragging her to the middle of the room. The bartender got the clue and played a slow song. It started off smooth and Damon seemed to sober up.

Damon grinned as Elena willingly took his hand and placed her other on his shoulder. Her savored the feeling of her body temperature warming his, and the way her hand firmly gripped his. He had his empty hand around the curve of her waist.

She leaned in closer, laying her chin on his shoulder and took in his musky scent. Damon slowly came from his drunk appearance and sobered up within seconds. Because the girl he's been thinking about was in his arms slow dancing at a bar.

Elena tightened her grip on his hand and smiled widely as he returned the gesture. the song ended in what felt like forever, and as they pulled back. Damon searched in her dark brown eyes for an answer on what he should say.

But her eyes no longer looked into his, she searched down to his perfect full lips. He leaned in, hoping it was what she wanted. And he was right. She pulled his arm tightly towards her trying to get him to press up against her.

And for the blissful moment when their lips were pressed together, the entire scenery was erased. They were just by themselves, in their own heaven. At least, that's what it felt like.

Elena placed her lips full onto his, and pulled his bottom lips back. She shuffled her hand in his raven black hair, wanting more. Damon smiled against her lips as she moaned against his lips. he stuck his tongue into her mouth, begging for entrance. Their tongues danced around and all Elena felt was fire throughout her body. Everlasting fiery passion that she's been waiting for her whole life.

_You don't even know him._ Elena's conscience popped up again. She ignored the warning with her own choice, something she sincerely meant.

_I don't care._

Damon pulled their lips apart and smiled at her in pleasure. Elena blushed lightly and she fingered with his shirt.

"I really like you." Damon whispered. He meant it, all those meaningless times he had sex with women meant nothing to him anymore. Because though Elena wasn't someone he knew too well, he was willing to find out more. To fall in love with her. To get to know her deepest and darkest of secrets. To know everything.

"Me too." She smiled as she heard the words escape his mouth. "You're quite the animal though." She laughed, pointing out how he gripped her waist and pulled on the fabric of it.

"So are you." He winked.

By the time they drove back to campus, Elena walked through her dorm to find Rebekah sleeping soundlessly on her bed. Elena sighed and dropped onto her mattress leaving a heavy sigh of pleasure into the room.

"_Damon Salvatore."_ She whispered as she smiled herself to sleep.

* * *

**Next Day**

* * *

_"Not really sure how I feel about it._

_Something in the way you move._

_Makes me feel like I can't live without you,_

_It takes me all the way._

_I want you to stay."_

* * *

_Next Morning_

_Tuesday_

_6:30 A.M_

* * *

Damon woke up replaying every second he spent with Elena. He wished the kiss lasted longer.

There was no doubt in his mind he likes Elena. He didn't just think about having sex with her anymore. He wanted to laugh with her, help her through bad days where she just wants to break. Embrace her, comfort her, and everything he never did before.

He wanted every part of her. it was odd for him because he never cared for anyone but Rebekah. It was foreign ground for him. He admitted it, he couldn't deny that he never cared for anyone but Rebekah. And once...his younger brother.

He still remembered his name clear in his mind. Stefan Forbes has the same first name as his brother and Damon couldn't help but be reminded of his lost brother.

* * *

_Flashback_

_Damon's Point of view_

* * *

"It's dark and cold in here, Damon." Stefan whispered from behind me. We walked from our rooms into Ms. Hepburn office. Stefan trembled in fright while holding onto his old blanket.

"Shh, quiet." I whispered to him. Stefan held my wrist into a tight hold of fright.

"Okay, sorry Damon." Stefan whimpered.

I stopped crawling and edged to the door, I creaked it open, and luckily it didn't sound off. Stefan climbed over my shoulder, looking over into the room. Ms. Hepburn had her hands folded over her desk and smiled cheerily. I hated when she did that. She looked constipated.

The couple on the other side whispered quietly, suspecting someone was listening.

Stefan gripped my shirt and shuddered. A cry of laughter escaped the room, and I peered in closer and saw a little girl, the same age as Stefan. She had soft blond curls that bounced.

"We love Stefan, but the other brother?" The one woman with short hair questioned.

"We will separate the Salvatores, Stefan's the youngest it'd be best to adopt him." Hepburn said cheerily. I bit my lip and clenched my fists, Stefan pulled on the fabric on my shirt knowingly that I was going to break.

"And the other boy?" The woman whimpered, holding on to her daughter's hand.

"He'll be fine." Hepburn answered with ease.

I started to silently cry, and when the child heard a small whimper escape my lips, I rushed back into my room with Stefan.

"What'd she say Damon?" He asked, I looked down at him with tears in his eyes. I swallowed the hard lump in his throat and hugged Stefan in his arms. Stefan wrapped his arms around me and smiled lightly at him.

"Nothing, Stefan. Nothing. Don't worry." I whispered, holding him tight. Stefan smiled up at him once more before shutting his eyes.

"Okay, Damon." Stefan whispered before sounding off into sleep.

"I can't believe they're taking you away from me. It's not fair. I can't lose you, Stef. I can't. First mom, not you too." I cried.

* * *

_Flashback ends_

* * *

Jeremy sat by his desk, quietly typing when his phone rang loudly. He looked over at it with his teeth clenched and ignored the call. Though it kept ringing loudly and irritably., Damon detached his eyes from his book and glared at Jeremy till he looked over at him.

"What?" Jeremy retorted at Damon's glare.

"Answer the phone genius." Damon said with annoyance hinting.

"No way. It's Elena." Jeremy said his eyebrows furrowed in anger.

"Isn't she your sister?" Damon said, already knowing who she was and missing her touch on his lips.

"Yeah, but im mad at her." Jeremy admitted not-so-proudly. He was more upset, not at Elena but at himself. He knew he shouldn't be but he hated when he ignored Elena. but he couldn't ignore the kept feelings of anger inside any longer.

"Why?" Damon asked, wondering what got him so pissed at her.

"Family reasons. Dont worry." Jeremy mumbled, trying to focus back on his history essay.

"Well I'm a human and I worry." Damon said, he didn't care all too much about anyone before but Jeremy was honestly his friend and he cared for him. Like he cared for his brother.

"Fine? It's still family stuff Damon." Jeremy said not wanting to tell him the thing he hated the most in his life.

"Answer the phone Jeremy." Damon spit out, breaking the last straw by the constant ring.

"Whatever." Jeremy said before picking the phone up again with a bored expression.

_"Oh my god! Jeremy, I've called for hours!"_

"We know, Elena." Damon yelled out smirking.

Elena smiled to herself when she heard his rough voice but focused back on her brother. Jeremy rolled his eyes and placed the phone on the table while it was on speaker. Damon looked over at Jeremy and noticed the watery tears he was attempting to hold back. And that's when Damon knew that he cared for Jeremy Gilbert, more than a friend. But as a _brother_.

"Elena, I can't talk now."

_"Jer, Please, listen-"_

"No! Elena, I won't listen to you anymore."

_"Jer, please. I'm so sorry. About everything."_

"I don't care."

_"Jeremy, please..." _Elena whimpered on the other end. Jeremy looked straight-faced into the computer screen with a single tear tracing down his cheek.

"Elena, Mom died last night." Jeremy said bluntly into the other end. Damon sprung up from his bed. His eyes were popping from his head at the sight of Jeremy's eyes reddening and the tears drop endlessly down his cheek.

_"Jeremy, you're lying."_

"Elena, don't start."

_"You're lying. Mom can't be dead. She can't be. No." _Her voice started to break on the other end, she covered her out with her hand to keep herself from screaming out in pain. Damon shut his eyes in pain. he never thought he would feel so much pain from hearing Elena's voice crumble.

Jeremy snatched the phone in the spur of the moment and hanged up. He broke own with his head shaking as he rocked back and forth mumbled his parent names.

"Stop. Jeremy stop." Damon bellowed over to him. Jeremy spun around and his eyes blood-shot with tears his mouth was open ready to say something but he closed it and cried all over again. "You can't tell her over the phone. Go to her." Damon said with sincerity in his voice.

"No. I can't. I can't, Damon." Jeremy mumbled his voice breaking.

"Why not?" Damon responded.

"I can't look at her when I tell her more." Jeremy cried out his hands over his tears and face.

"What do you mean _more_?" Damon said afraid to know more.

"My dad died shortly after, Damon." Jeremy laughed and smiled but slowly turned back into a mental breakdown "He had a severe hemorrhage to the head. And died right after my mother. She was impaled with the shift in the car. Can you believe it? And it's all my _fault._" Jeremy laughed once more.

Damon was upset, not because of the death but because Jeremy blamed himself. Like how he blamed himself for the reason his brother was adopted without him.

"Don't you fucking say that Jeremy Gilbert!" Damon yelled straight into Jeremy's expressionless face.

"It's all i can say. I mean I invited them over. Then they drove back home, and then they crashed. If I didn't invite them, they wouldn't have died. If Elena was there to help me make them stay longer, they wouldn't have died. If she didn't shut her phone off after I called, she would have come. This wouldn't have happened Damon." Jeremy spoke with an unnatural smile growing on his lips.

"Jeremy this wasn't your fault. I promise you, it wasn't." Damon said lifting his head to look at him.

"But it is. And i wish i could just blame it on someone else. Like Elena, which is why I ignored her. I want her to be the problem but it's just me Damon. Just me."

It broke Damon to see this strong, smart kid look insane and broken down with sadness. Then he remembered Elena.

How she must look like in the moment across campus, all alone in the morning without Rebekah by her side. She needs her brother. Now.

"Go to Elena. you have to tell her."

"No."

"_Jeremy."_

"No. you tell her. i can't see her face. I just can't."

"You think this is a good idea, Jeremy?"

"I just can't Damon."

* * *

Damon arrived by the front door of Elena's dorm. he heard shuffling and panting on the other side. It was early, and he knew Rebekah was already out to class. But Elena was still inside...breaking down.

He knocked once and the door creaked open itself. He saw Elena by her bed in a fetal position with the same expression as Jeremy's. But he knew much worse was to come.

"Elena? It's Damon." He whispered, closing the door behind him, inching closer to her, trying not to make her worse.

"I know." She whispered smiling. her tear streaked eyes were red and her hair was shuffled as it she went through it when she heard Jeremy. "So you heard my mother died right?" She laughed.

Damon inched closer, setting down beside her. She looked blankly ahead in silence. her brown eyes no longer holds the glow and cheeriness it used to. It held misery and utter depression. This was all created in her within seconds.

"Elena, Jeremy has something else to tell you but he couldn't come." Damon whispered pushing the strands of hair behind her ear. She looked into Damon's eyes and complete fear filled in her chocolate-brown eyes. It broke him in the inside.

He didn't think he could tell her.

"Both of your parents died during the crash."

she opened her mouth wide and a shriek escaped her lips. She buried her head the bed and Damon watched her shake with tears. he looked down, biting down on his bottom lip...hard enough to release blood.

She looked up, shooting her head fast and her eyes blood-shot with anger. She rose from the bed and smashed all her pictures, and searched for something.

"Elena, what are you doing." Damon asked watching her smash her family pictures broke him inside.

"I'm-i'm looking for my phone." She shuddered.

Elena couldn't think. She couldn't wrap her mind around the thought of her parents being dead. It was true. She knows they're alive. She just knows it. She need to call her phone and hear their voice because the last thing she said to them was, "I hate you." She regretted it now, she didn't really hate them. She never could. It was in the spur of the moment. She couldn't have said those last words to them.

She re-traced her steps to after Jeremy told her and she threw it across the room. She found it and dialed down her father's number first. She covered her mouth with fear when she heard his voice mail. she didn't want to admit it. she couldn't.

She dialed down her mothers next.

"_Miranda her, I can't come to the phone now, please leave a message."_

"I love you Mom." She whispered smiling.

Then as she hung up, she wrapped it around her head. They were dead. and she couldn't make it.

She picked the broken frames, ripping the family photos apart with anger and hatred fuming from her every pore.

"Elena, I need you to calm down."

"No. No. No. I can't. I can't." she broke down yelling with tears endlessly spilling out. She dropped to the floor on her knees, her arms dropping lifelessly on the ground. She gasped air as she cried.

Damon eyes were hurting at the sight of her in this way. He never thought he'd feel this pain for Elena. Just watching her this way, made him want to make her feel better to erase every painful memory she has. But he couldn't.

She gasped and pulled at her stomach as it was in pain from crying.

"No. It hurts. Just make it stop. Please, make it stop. It hurts." she screamed out.

Damon's mind was blank he couldn't think. he didn't want her pain to last any longer, he wanted to help her. If it was even possible. He wanted to so badly it hurt him just watching her cry.

She gripped her stomach more and cried out louder just hoping it'd make the pain go away. He knelt softly beside her, and watched for a few seconds as she cried her heart out.

He did the forbidden and pulled her in his arms. She breathed heavily as she still cried. She opened her mouth to talk but closed it to cry. She couldn't utter a word. She just couldn't.

"Shh." He whispered, pulling her into his chest. She wrapped her arms around his and leaned against him as the tears dropped down on his shirt.

Damon softly petter her head and soothed her. She took a heavy breath and felt safe. She didn't want to let go of him because of it.

Everything inside of her hurts, all she could think about was Jeremy and how he must feel. And how Elena said those horrible last words to her parents. She didn't want to think anymore . She just wanted to cry.

Damon held her tight, hoping this was making her pain lighter but he knew it wouldn't. Everything she felt was horrifying. it was the worst pain her could imagine. And just seeing her shake in terror and sadness made him wonder what it felt to lose his own parents if he had any.

What it felt to lose someone so close to you that you'd fight with but make up the next day. and he though of Rebekah. He didn't want to lose her to Henrik.

"It's going to be okay, Elena. Don't you worry." He whispered soothingly into her ear and she continued to pull on his arms and cry. And for what felt like forever they sat there as the sun dimmed through the closed shades of her room and the silence of the tears dropping from her cheeks and the sniffling of her cries.

Damon knew he'd stay with Elena. and all Elena wanted was for her to stay in Damon's arms, to feel his embrace because for a moment she believed the pain was soothing down. She wanted him to stay with her.


	4. Total Control

_"So you feel entitled to a sense of control,_

_you make decisions that you think are your own,_

_you're a stranger here, why have you come?_

_Why have you come?_

_Lift me higher, let me look at the sun,_

_look at the sun._

_And once I hear them clearly say,_

_Who?_

_Who are you, really?"_

* * *

_A view in the life of Rebekah Mikaelson_

_Jeremy's party_

* * *

Rebekah smiled half heartily at one of Tyler's god awful jokes, she stood in front of the group laughing and playing along when she is still worried that Elena hasn't arrived yet. She knew how much Jeremy wanted her to come for some reason, and if it was that important to him then there was no reason for her not to come.

Rebekah sighed heavily, and took a large gulp from her cup and cringed as the alcohol burned her tongue. She looked around and spotted a gorgeous looking man. He was no doubt ravishing to look at.

His styled brown hair was perfect on him and his green eyes were glowing brighter by the second. He wore a grey loose shirt and ble worn down jeans, his combat boots stomped louder and louder by the second. Rebekah was obviously turning into putty as she saw him.

She froze not being able to move an inch, he blues eyes must be glittering with lust by now. He smiled softly as he made his way up to her. She noticed how he played around with a Lapis lazuli ring.

_Wait...how'd I know that._ She thought confused. She looked down at his ring once more and noticed the initials; S.S and D.S

She didn't want to admit it. She knew what it meant, it was obvious. they had the same ring, same fake smile. It was looking at Damon but in a different. And she didn't want to know if she was right.

_Of all the damn times I had to be smart? It had to be now! _She screamed in her head.

"Hi, I'm Rebekah." She smiled, looking away from his ring and tried to ignore what she realized.

"Yeah, you're Stefan. Caroline's brother." She answered with a sweet smile.

"Yeah, everyone knows me because of Caroline." He said. he always felt that the only reason he had friends was because Caroline was outgoing and beautiful and she gets along with everyone. So he wasn't surprised Rebekah knew him through Caroline.

"Actually, no. You're in my Chemistry class. I'm studying to be a chemist. And I'm really jealous of how you can't get those Stoichiometry problems." She laughed, hating for sounding like a total nerd but she was being honest for once. She didn't try to act like she was better than everyone else because she truly wasn't.

Stefan smiled genuinely at her, he liked her already. He remembered her from the same class. But she seemed so different now. It's been weeks since he saw her, and he has always been attracted to her just now she was 10 times more attractive.

"It's pretty easy once you understand how to balance. But you're amazing at the labs." He admitted.

She laughed lightly and looked down with light blush arriving on her cheeks. Stefan took her hand from her face to fix her hair and held it. He didn't seem to know what he was doing since she looked shocked.

"Sorry." He mumbled dropping her hand.

"No, it's okay. No one's ever held my hand before." Rebekah said honestly.

Her entire life she was used by boys she loved unconditionally. Not once have they ever just smiled or talked or held her hand. It was always sex, sex, sex. And she hated herself for so long for loving them when they never loved her back.

She thought love was everything and she had to have it to feel whole. But endless times Damon would tell her that she made the wrong choice and would get hurt. And she did. It was her fault. But Damon was there to pick her up and stitch her heart up again.

But with Stefan looking into her eyes and reaching out for her hand, she was already in love with someone she didn't know. And she was okay with it because something inside her told her it was all going to be okay.

* * *

_Few hours later_

* * *

Stefan was no longer there by her side. Though she couldn't forgot the way he left her.

He leaned in to kiss her cheek and left her breathless and she clinged on to his hand until the last finger that connected them was separated. Stefan admitted he didn't want to leave. He wanted to stay and talk for more hours and laugh with her as he eyes watered up with the pain of joy.

He didn't want his eyes to leave hers.

Rebekah joined back in reality and smiled as she kept thinking about him.

Damon mumbled from the counter with his head down. She laughed and walked up to him and patted his back. He shrugged her away and mumbled Elena's name.

"Damon, sober up. I'll find my way own." She laughed as he whined for more bourbon.

She left the bar and shivered in her coat as the breeze from the night gave her shivers. Everything seemed a lot more dangerous in the dark. The moonlight gave off the mood of danger and fear.

"Hello Rebekah." A voice called out from beside her. She spun her head in fright as she laid her eyes on five men. Four being older, and one looking like a teen.

"How the hell do you know my name?" She questioned pulling on her strong expression.

"Calm down sister. I'm Henrik Mikaelson, your brother." He said with a smirk across his lips.

"Impossible, I only had three-obviously-older brothers." She blurted out to a total stranger.

"You see, that's where you're wrong." He said matter-of-factually.

"How so, kid?" She retorted cockily.

"This man here is Elijah. The oldest in _our_ family." He said. Rebekah cringed at the word because it wasn't true. Her only family was Damon. She looked over curiously Henrik's shoulder to see the other four men, with confused expressions.

"Okay, that still doesn't explain the bodyguards and _you._"

"They aren't body guard, they're your brothers." He smiled.

"No way."

"Yes. Believe it."

"It can't be, i haven't seen them since the separation." She said aloud.

"Being the youngest billionaire comes in handy, sis."

"Stop calling me that." she said angrily. He looked up at her innocently and smiled.

"What?"

"You aren't my family. Damon Salvatore is my only family."

"Lies."

"What did you say?"

"Lies. You can barely buy yourself decent clothing." He said sadly.

"Shut up. You don't know anything about family, kid." She answered clenching her fists and leaning down to his height.

"Sure I do. My siblings where split up because they were a threat to my selfish father; Mikael." That name triggered all of their attention. They glared at Henrik with angry eyes.

"Now don't fret. He's in jail. You're free to come home." He smiled with open arms.

"What makes you think we even want to come home?" One of the men spoke up.

"Kol, I know you love your adoptive family, but your own flesh and blood wants you home. Where you belong." Henrik answered him.

Rebekah shot her eyes to the three men. She noticed they all held a silver chain around their neck. and Rebekah finally remembered.

The yelling and the pulling of the hair all the pain came running back into her mind.

"Nik?" she bellowed with tears spilling.

Klaus' eyes turned from bored to shock. The only person who ever called him that was his younger sister. From the day they were separated to be adopted they all called each others names out.

"Rebekah?" Finn and Kol said in unison. Henrik smiled and so did Elijah as the three siblings hugged in a tight pack.

Rebekah's mind was flinging thoughts everywhere all at the same time. Kol had tears and a grin that hurt across his face. Finn was frozen with happiness that his family was reunited.

"Finn, Kol. I remember now." Klaus whispered in their arms. And the flashes of memories of home before they were separated were rushed back in. They looked at Elijah who stood with watery eyes.

"Elijah, my god. It's impossible." Finn spoke looking at him with wide eyes. Henrik stood by the side watching his family cheerily smiled and hugged in unison. He knew he'll never have the bond they have. That he'll be the one that just brought them together again. But he had to try, he was too lonely.

Rebekah took her eyes off her siblings and spotted Henrik, no longer looking like a cocky self absorbed teen. but a little boy who is in pain.

"Come here kid." Rebekah smiled her arms wide. He rang into them and bawled out crying. Something inside Henrik finally broke. They all watched at the loud crying of a child escaped his lips. And for the light the night had to offer everyone gathered underneath it smiling and hugging.

"You did good, Henrik. You brought us back." Rebekah whispered.

* * *

_"Though I've never been through hell like that,_

_I've closed enough windows to know you can never look back._

_If you're lost and alone,_

_or you're sinking like a stone._

_Carry on._

_May your past be the sound,_

_of your feet upon the ground._

_Carry on."_

_Carry on. Carry on."_

* * *

_Part 1_

_Next Morning_

_7:00 A.M_

* * *

Elena sat upright in her bed, staring straight ahead. Her knees were brought up to her chest, Rebekah sat by her bed eyeing her from afar.

"Stop _staring _at me like I'm some sort of freak." Elena growled under her breath. Rebekah's eyes widened in fright at the sound of her blunt, dull tone. She never thought the smile and emotion in Elena Gilbert's voice would perish.

"Sorry, I'm just worried about you." Rebekah mumbled under her breath. She stood up getting ready to leave for class. Elena just blinked and didn't respond until Rebekah opened the door while just about to leave.

"Maybe worrying makes things worse." Elena spoke bluntly.

Rebekah pressed her lips together her eyes doing and one-over on Elena. She left the room and shut the door. Elena continued to stare at nothing, but then the voice came back.

_Don't you look lovely._

_Shut up._

_I can't, I'm in your head._

_Get out of my head._

_I can't sweetheart, I'm your conscience._

_I don't want one._

_I keep you from making mistakes like this again._

_What?_

_If you never left the room after Damon entered you'd be at the party._

_So?_

_Then your parents would be there, sure you fight and scream, but they would stay longer._

_Why does that matter?_

_They would've never left early, and got hit by that driver._

_Stop._

_Why? Don't want to be blamed._

_Stop._

_You're the reason they're dead._

_I said stop._

_You're the reason your parents are dead._

_Stop. Stop._

_You know I'm right, Elena._

_No. No._

_If only you went to the party and didn't get your feelings for Damon get in the way._

"No. No. No. Stop. It hurts too much, just stop." She cried out. Her head was buried in her knees as she cried. The loud gasps of air were painfully pulled from her as she continued to cry. The immense pain in her stomach was unbearable as she continued to cry.

She shook her head with bloodshot eyes and tear streaked cheeks.

_Maybe the voice is right. I'm the reason they're dead. I can't live with myself knowing I caused their death. I can't look in the mirror and see good little Elena anymore. It's all my damn fault!_

Elena continued to shake in desperation. She lifted her head up from her knees and waited for the thought that never crossed her mind.

Suicide.

_But Jeremy, I couldn't do that to him. He'll have no one left. I can never leave him alone. I can't, I just can't._

_Who cares?_

_It's Jeremy! My little brother!_

_He wouldn't want to wake up every morning knowing that his sister was the problem._

_He wouldn't think that!_

_You know he would!_

_Even if he did, I don't want to leave him alone._

_Even if you care, you will always be the reminder of the sister who caused her parents death._

_Stop! I didn't mean to!_

Elena rushed up from her bed she took her sweats and tee off and replaced it with the nicest shirt possible. she brushed through her hair throughly.

"This is so wrong." Elena spoke to herself.

The thought kept repeating in her head. She couldn't deny that he mind made it seem like the right thing to do. But just the thought of Jeremy being all along didn't seem to cross her mind. Not a single thought streamed across her mind as she wrote down the handwritten letter to Jeremy.

_**Dear Jeremy, I love you so much, but you know that.**_

_**I'm sorry that it was my fault that Mom and Dad died.**_

_**I didn't mean to get them killed. I'm so sorry that my last words are in this letter to you.**_

_**I hope one day you forgive me, but it seems like the right thing to do.**_

_**I hope you find love, and the life you always wanted.**_

_**I never intended for you to get hurt. All I want for you is happiness.**_

_**I also don't want you to wake up every morning knowing you lost the two most important people i your life.**_

_**It's fine if you hate me.**_

_**I hate me too.**_

_**I love you Jer. I always will.**_

_**Love, Elena**_

Elena didn't notice she was crying until a few tears hit the paper and wrinkled it up. Elena sniffed and wiped her tears with the edge of her tears. She didn't know what to do next. She knew what she was doing was so wrong on so maybe levels, and will have its down sides but this was Jeremy's only chance at finding a normal life, right?

The tears continued to fall down her cheeks mindlessly as she ran from her down and down the hall. She knows Jeremy takes morning classes and he must be in class but she didn't care. The later he found out the more chance he'll find her dead.

the thought gave her chills, she was going to kill herself. and not once in her life she thought her life would end that way. but the conscience didn't come in her head which made everything easier to get done. Her arms wrapped around her body as she continued to storm through the halls of the men's dorm all the way to Jeremy's front door.

Her heart pounded loudly in her chest as she lifted her hand to the door knob, instead she shuffled in her purse for the letter and slide it under the door before running of with her hand over her mouth as she held in the screaming cries.

* * *

Damon laid by the bed reading an assignment one of teachers asked him to do. Jeremy was late to his class so he stayed for a quick shower. He seemed a bit out of place since last night but Damon understood he needed time to adjust. Not that there will be full adjustment to losing your parents.

Damon's mind wandered over Elena. He remembered last night and how he didn't want to leave her vulnerable. He still remember the tears in her eyes and how her cheeks were rubbed so much that they turned red.

_"Goodnight Elena." Damon whispered softly. Elena mumbled something and she refused to let go of Damon. Her eyes fluttered and struggled to open and stare into his. He smiled down at her as she leaned into his chest and smiled._

_"Don't leave." She whimpered as he untangled her arms linking from his. He laid her on the bed and covered her in the blankets that were already there._

_"I have to, 'Lena."_

_"I love it when you call me that." She mumbled smiling dumbfound by what she just said. "That wasn't supposed to be said aloud."_

_"Goodnight Elena." Damon smiled leaning down giving a full kiss on her forehead. Her eyes finally closed effortlessly and the quietly snoring escaped her lips as he exited her room._

"Hey Damon, mind picking that letter up from the floor." Jeremy spoke out, coming from the bathroom in a towel. Damon nodded and dropped his book onto his bed to pick up the book.

"Yeah man, no problem." Damon answered picking up the letter. Mindlessly he opened it once he saw Elena's writing. He gotten used to it from watching her write in Alaric's class that one day.

Damon's eyes stopped reading once he finished. His breath hitched in his throat as the letter floated from his hands onto the floor. Jeremy looked over at him with shock.

"Damon, what's wrong!" Jeremy yelled out shaking him back into conscientiousness. Damon's mind was blank, he never fet so dumb stricken with fear since the day his brother was taken. Elena wrote a letter to Jeremy about committing _suicide._

Jeremy leaned down to pick up the letter. his eyes skimmed over the few letters and he felt his breath stop.

"No, Elena. please, no. This has to be some sick joke!" Jeremy yelled out with tears already falling.

"We have to find her, before it's too late." Damon finally spoke with pain in his tone. And within seconds Jeremy and Damon were halfway across campus searching like crazy for their beloved Elena Gilbert.

* * *

_"The world might end, the night might fall_

_rain on down and cover us all_

_and drown us with the burdens of our sins._

_Maybe I'll look you in the eye,_

_tell you, 'you don't wanna die'_

_maybe I'll hold my breath and jump right in."_

* * *

_Part 2_

_4:00 P.M_

_Mystic Falls, Virginia_

_The Wickery Bridge_

* * *

Elena stopped her car right at middle of the bridge. She was surprised she made it in record time while speeding, and she was lucky no cop cars seemed to be around.

She went on the Mystic Falls news and watched how her parents' death was the first on the news. She then decided she'd die where they died.

She stared down at the water with her heart pounding massively loud she seemed to be the only one to hear it.

"I can't believe I'm doing this." Elena whispered with a single tear tracing down her cheek.

_Stop crying. this is for the better_.

_But Jeremy! And Caroline, Klaus, Tyler, Stefan...Bonnie!_

_They'll understand. You're doing this for Jeremy._

_Yes._ _You're right._

She raced back to her car and sat in the driver's seat. She finished all the letters to all her friends and left it in the passenger seat, so when they notice she's missing they'll read it. She left a letter for every one of her friends. Even one for Damon.

Though they kissed, she felt something she never felt before , she wanted to believe it was just a crush but it felt more than that. She felt like he was different and he noticed her like no one else did. She could be wrong but the letter she wrote and explained everything she felt for Damon. Love at first sight. She might not know everything about him

Her mind wasn't producing any thought, she just did without thinking first. She was never one to think about suicide. She used to love her life, her friends were always there but it seems they've just disappeared into thin air.

She decided she'd sit and wait until her final decision was made because something deep inside her told her this was utterly wrong.

* * *

Damon sped down the road with Jeremy by his side and Rebekah in the back seat. Rebekah mumbled to herself in fright and Jeremy was pale with fear.

Damon had called her to ask where Elena was and tell her the news of her disappearance. She insisted on coming just in case Jeremy couldn't do it himself.

Damon wished his friendship with Elena was stronger, so that'd he'd be able to convince her to stay on this earth. But he wasn't in the position to do that.

"You sure Elena's going to Wickery Bridge, that's near Mystic Falls? it's too far." Damon asked and looked over at Jeremy as his skin was pale with uneasiness.

"Yes I'm sure. That's where my parents died." Jeremy said bluntly staring straight ahead."Trust me."

Damon pressed the gas faster, they've been driving for a while, and Damon's never been in Mystic Falls so he had to use his GPS to get there.

The emotion in the car was tense, no one made a sound or noise. You can barely hear anyone breath. Everyone in the car cared for Elena. Rebekah finally had a true friend she can share anything with and now she's in danger of herself. Jeremy is Elena's younger brother, he cared for her too much to even process what she was doing. It wasn't like her.

And then there is Damon. He doesn't know much about her, but she always made him smile in ways Rebekah never could. He'd look forward to waking up the next day if it meant Elena was going to be in sight. And if they were too late, he wouldn't know what to think.

As they pulled up by a curb, Jeremy yelled out with fear.

"Stop. It's here. She's here." Jeremy called out.

"How do you know?" Damon asked his brows furrowed.

"I can hear her crying." Jeremy whimpered before running out of the car.

"Oh my God." Rebekah bellowed shuffling out of the car with fear.

The silence was no longer there, all you could hear was the panting of the three and Elena's cry echoing throughout the area. Jeremy flung out his arms to stop Damon and Rebekah from getting any further.

"What are you doing?" Rebekah blurted.

"If she notices someone here, she kill herself quicker." Jeremy whimpered with fear. Damon nodded knowing its true. Rebekah sniffed and quietly stepped into sight.

Elena sat in her car, facing the brink of the bridge where she'd drive off. Her foot was lightly pressing on the pedal while the car was in drive. She was afraid of what it felt like to die. How it felt like to have your lungs shrink with the lack of air in them.

She took in a deep breath and saw the pile of letters by a rock she planted. She was just about to press fully on the pedal when she heard her little brother's voice.

"Elena! Stop! Please don't do this!" Jeremy cried out running from the corner of the bridge with rebekah tailing behind. Elena's breath hitched in her throat and ran turned off the car.

Back at the curb Damon waited by his car. He didn't think he should even go out. He doesn't know Elena and she doesn't know him. For all her knew she could just have a crush on him and he meant nothing more. He couldn't get her to stop herself from ending her life. Jeremy and Rebekah were probably her best choice.

Elena gasped as she saw Jeremy run center with Rebekah by his side. Rebekah was frantically pushing back her blown hair.

"Elena please don't do this."

"Jeremy please. This is for the best."

"No it's not!"

"Jeremy, it is. And you can't stop me."

Elena raced to the ledge of the bridge and climbed to the top. Rebekah raced forward reaching for Elena but she screeched.

"Come any closer and I'll jump!" Elena yelled fiercely.

Just as Elena finished he foot slipped at she stumbled on the ledge and Rebekah broke out in a scream.

Damon heard Rebekah scream and instantly rushed over to see Elena by the brink of the bridge, looking down into the cold waters.

"Stop Elena." Damon spoke with tenderness. She turned her head and nothing was revealed, her eyes were dull and her cheeks were red with tears. Jeremy was trembling off in the corner, while Rebekah extended her arms toward Elena.

"Damon..." Elena whispered. She didn't know he came along. She was ready to die, and watch over Jeremy on the other side but Damon came and she thought about her possible future. And what it would be like.

"You don't want to do this." Damon announced clearly to her and she trembled at the edge of the bridge. Jeremy stood amazed at how ELena just calms at sight of him. What makes Damon so different that he'll be able to calm down his suicidal sister?

"Why?" Elena retorted inching further over the edge.

"Your brother needs you." Damon calmly looked over at Jeremy with blood shot eyes as he watched his sister's every move.

"But if i kill myself he'll hate me, right?" She asked unsure, she didn't even acknowledge Jeremy's nor Rebekah's presence anymore. She just kept her eyes on Damon as he inched closer to her with caution.

"No. Jeremy could never hate you." Damon answered her sincerely. He had no clue when Elena could just break and jump off the ledge in the blue waters.

"What makes you so sure?" She trembled hoping Damon was telling her the truth, but then he could just be telling her what she wants to hear.

"Because family sticks together, no matter what." He smiled looking over at Rebekah by Elena's car.

"What do you know about family?" Elena cruelly spoke, hoping it angered him so she'd had the more reason to die.

"I know Rebekah is my family. She always will be." Damon flinched at her comment but knew thats what she wanted.

"I can't live with myself." Elena cried looking away at Damon and into the waters below.

"Why?" Damon asked.

Elena flashed her sight back at Damon. That's what she wanted to hear, she wanted someone to ask 'Why'. That was all she wanted. But she couldn't back down now.

"I killed my parents." she spoke bluntly, carefully glancing at Jeremy.

"No you didn't." Damon said sternly catching her attention again.

"It was my fault."

"It was no ones fault." Damon shook his head, finally catching up to her, he stood beside her by the ledge, his blue eyes scorching her brown ones.

"Damon don't you understand! I want to die!" She broke stepping near him but slipping. Jeremy broke from his trance and gasped at the possible fall of his sister. Damon gripped her arm from falling and her eyes looked up into his. She realized that dying wasn't all that she wanted.

"Do you?" He asked still holding onto her. His looked into her doe brown eyes that were peeking light into them again.

"Yes." She said unsure. Her hands trembled and she noticed she was crying when the tears trailed down her nose.

"Are you sure?" Damon asked again, moving his grip down to her hand, tightly holding her too afraid of letting go.

"I-I don't know." She stuttered honestly.

"Then why do it?" Damon said watching her avoid eye contact with him and she continued to look at the ground.

"Because I have no meaning in life anymore." Elena spoke looking up at him with the blinded guilt in her eyes.

"Sure you do." Damon said smiling.

"And what is it?" She retorted with annoyance in her tone.

"You're the light, Elena."

And that was all it took. Elena wrapped her arms around Damon, he stumbled of the ledge with her in his arms. Jeremy fell on his knees crying and mumbling something they couldn't hear.

Elena cried her heart out, Rebekah stood off to the side smiling wide at the sight. In Rebekah's hands was the letter Elena wrote to Damon. the letter she planned on leaving him.

_Dear Damon, i don't know much about you._

_But I know that you're what I want._

_You haven't seen me around a lot._

_But I have seen you, I hope that doesn't sound too creepy._

_You made my breath stop in my throat when I first saw you._

_I don't know if it's the way you make me smile, or how good looking you are_

_But you're the love of my non-existing life._

_I'm sure of it._

_And I'm sorry if this is too late._

_I really am._

_Goodbye Damon Salvatore._

Damon nuzzled his chin into the crook of Elena's neck. His arms embraced her in a way he never felt before. Elena continued to cry endlessly into his arms, She didn't want to let go, it felt peaceful and calm in his arms. And she wasn't ready to let go of that yet.

Rebekah held onto Jeremy as they headed back to Damon's car. Damon let go of Elena and watched as she collected herself again.

"Thank you." She whispered pushing her tangled hair back.

"No problem Elena." Damon laughed while giving a small grin.

"Why'd you help me? " Elena asked afraid to hear the answer.

"You're Jeremy's sister, and Rebekah's friend."

"So you did it for them?" She said disappointingly.

"I did it for mostly you, Elena." Damon admitted.

Elena smiled lightly and her chest rose nervously.

"I like you Elena. I know this isn't the right time to tell you this, but you almost left my life." He admitted.

Elena's eyebrows rose in surprise at his confession. She wouldn't have thought Damon Salvatore would have a crush on her. She felt embarrassed on what she admitted in his letter.

"Let's go home, Jeremy's waiting back at the car." Damon spoke.

Elena gasped and ran towards the direction the car was in. Jeremy raced towards her in a breathtaking hug.

"God Elena! I thought you were going to die!"

"Jer I'm so sorry!"

"You got hit the most from Mom and Dad's death."

"That's no excuse! I almost left you! I don't know what I was thinking!"

"The grief blocked your sense of yourself." Jeremy said calmly. "But you have control now."

"Thank you for sticking with me." Elena smiled over at Rebekah and Jeremy but her eyes focused on Damon as he walked in with his clear blue eyes dragging her in.

Elena knew what she did was wrong. And she promised to not even think of doing what she almost attempted ever again. She will have total control.


End file.
